Letter #99 From Tolerant Town by Darren Olsen Yes! I have been remiss in my duties as an absurdist. I have been up to my armpits in work. Now is the time for some action on my part. Sure I haven't updated my website since the 20th century, Sure I am responsible for the high gas prices, and Yes! I am responsible for the near-miss asteroids that threaten our very existence HERE ON EARTH
But that's all: bridge water I figure it's time for a tour-montage of where I work. Yep, a land-swabbie's life for me!
Ah, the free-wheeling and back-breaking fun of a real custodian.
In my best [ BORIS BADINOV ] voice: "I VEEL get you secret PEEKTURES of my custodial CLOSEAT and filthy TOILEAKS." I might even throw in short videos. I've been breathing too much cleaning products and contemplating whether I should go crazy or stay sane. TheYEStalkingYOUrabbit SHOULDthatGOhasGO beenGOeatingGOmyGO stroganoffGOdinnerGO tellsCOMPLETELYme CRAZY. By my clock, it's Friday, and I've got ants in my pants that have been causing my toothache. They have to pull it out they say. It's okay I suppose since it's one less I have to brush, and it is going to make a fine addition to the other teeth o' mine I have stored in a box. I figure I'll hit the Tooth Fairy up for some serious cash as a down-payment for my eventual dentures. Eventual Dentures...Hmmm...has a nice ring to it. Oh, there will be more later. Just don't give me the stink- e y e. |