Should the Government Legalize Murder? by polycarp kusch     Don't be stupid! Of course the government should legalize murder. Murder has existed since the beginning of time and has always been illegal. Does anyone pay attention to the fact that's it's illegal? Obviously not!     The murder rate in this country is steadily rising and the average age of murderers is declining year by year. Now ten year olds are killing on a whim. By legalizing murder and taxing it to death (no pun intended), the government could cash in on American's love of mankind's oldest pastime. I'll just bet that within just one year of legalizing murder the National Debt would be paid off and there'd be enough surplus cash in the government coffers to provide every murdered American with a free casket.     Also, if legalized and federally regulated, the quality of murder in this country would increase dramatically. Let's open murder up to the same type of capitalist competition as the automotive industry and just see if America doesn't come out on top of the heap in the world market of legalized killing. I know what you're thinking -- if we allow this sort of behavior the Mom and Pop murder stores will be driven out of business by large corporate type "chop shops," but in a free market economy those who can kill for the cheapest price and who have the highest quality standards will always rise to the top.     Another reason for legalization is that something like 80% of all murders happen the street. Now, if you don't want your children learning about sex on the street, why in the name of heaven would you want them getting murdered there? By legalizing murder and regulating its distribution points like the government currently does with alcohol, early morning joggers and people hiking in the desert would never again be bothered by accidently discovering the body of yet another badly decomposed murder victim sticking out from under something. John and Jane Doe would become a thing of the past because of the meticulous record keeping that legalized murder would provide.     Yes, I agree that all in all murder is a bad thing, but if we're going to keep doing it (and there seems to be no indication we're going to stop anytime soon) then let's legalize it, tax it, and get it off our nice clean streets. And, with the same swift stroke improve the quality of murder not just for some Americans, but for all Americans while opening a new market that will provide jobs for millions of under-emplyed Americans. Legalize murder. I just makes sense.