Why the Crab Has No Cricket by J.D. Neslon SALVE DAILY: (Distracted) No, not the mud crab! THE DOLLAR TOAD: (Dreaming of Baltimore) I am a red-clawed crab that has not moved for 3 days. How do you prune a weeping crab? SALVE DAILY: (Yowling) Cozy CPU & crab crack. THE DOLLAR TOAD: (Crouching awkwardly) I'm not a crab apple. Why is our teacher's body like that of a crab? SALVE DAILY: (Breathing through a handkerchief) I found it crying behind the potty. It's the Chinese Mitten Crab -- the crab in your dream. THE DOLLAR TOAD: (Fumbling for a brush) I'm a crabling! SALVE DAILY: (Walking "side-a-ways") I'm a creepy crab -- a "mutant" crab. I'll blow bubbles at you! THE DOLLAR TOAD: (Brushing) Brush your teeth. Brush your crab. SALVE DAILY: (Blowing bubbles) I finished the crab, etc